Waiting.

Christmas takes on a special meaning for me this year.

Advent, the season of waiting, watching. I am waiting and watching now. I am in tun to my body, listening to it, observing, wondering when this little boy will come and change my life forever.

There are preparations to be made, yes — but at this point I am mostly waiting and watching.

Christmas, in many ways, has been an afterthought for us though — we’ve been so focused on Sam’s arrival that we have had little time left to “do” Christmas stuff. Our tree is up — it just doesn’t have lights or ornaments on it. I managed to get Christmas cards sent. We told our families early on that we would not be doing gifts this year — we cam’t afford it and it’s not what we wanted to have to stress out about so close to baby time.

Still. the waiting and watching part of Christmas has been significant for me at least, this year. I feel my baby boy move and think about the God of the universe kicking Mary’s womb. I think about her — being hugely uncomfortable right about now, I cannot imagine riding on a donkey to Bethlehem!! I see the love and protection in my husband’s eyes and I think about Joseph and how he must have felt about this babe and Mary.

I think about what it means to wait and watch. Do I wait and watch for Christ’s coming the way I am waiting and watching now? Am I in tune with Him the way I am with my physical body, listening for His voice, watching for signs?

Tim and I have been singing a little song to my belly of late. Soon and very soon, we’re going to have a  Sam! It’s a happy little song. Christmas carols have been thrown in the mix. O come, O come, oh Samuel…

and it makes me think of the longing that I do not have for Christ’s coming. I wish I were that excited about His coming. To cry out, O come Thou long expected Jesus.

I want Sam’s coming. I want to want Christ’s coming more.

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