Today has been better. I am still a little cranky, but I am doing better. I want strawberries. I think if I had some strawberries I would be a in really good mood. As I don’t, I’ll just have to settle for okay.
I read Psalm 127 today, and it helped.
Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
I found it endlessly interesting that the psalm begins with being anxious, and ends with the promise that children are a reward. I have definitely been eating the bread of anxious toil. My prayer today was Lord, build this house. Build this family. I can’t do it without you. I just had to give a lot of stuff that I was worrying about over to Him.
I think what scares me most of all is that I tend to kind of halfway throw myself into stuff. I am pretty lazy. But I don’t want to be a lazy mom. I want to be purposeful in the way I interact with and love on Sam (and my other kids). I don’t want to take the path of least resistance. But that is definitely my tendency. Perhaps having a kid will be how the Lord sanctifies me in that area?
The crib is finally up, and his bedding set is all in it. So cute. Tim and I were sort of giddy with excitement. Somehow having the crib ready makes it all the more real. I just can’t wait until he’s here. I have been researching natural ways to induce labor. I’m not going to try any of them until I am 40 weeks…if he waits that long. Then all bets are off. I am going to ask my midwife about evening primrose oil. I have read that can help start labor, and without the unpleasant side effects of castor oil.
I have been drinking my red raspberry leaf tea like a good girl, too. I highly recommend it. It tastes good and is very nutritious. I think I might be craving that more than milk now. I am going to make a big batch of it to drink as an iced tea during labor, I think.
I should probably get a waterproof thing to put on our mattress, just in case my water breaks. Although, I hate that mattress so much that if it got ruined by amniotic fluid and we had to get a new mattress, I would not be heartbroken. Is that devious? Actually I really hope that my water waits to break until labor is well underway. The forewaters around the baby’s head act like a cushion and make labor a little more comfortable.
I am still having nursing bra issues. JCPenney’s has nursing bras in my size. I found one that I liked online, for a good price. I went to order it, only to discover it was out of stock. Grr! I think I am going to have to make a trip to an actual store. Sigh.